PROVERBS 26:4 – Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself.”

It is a place no Christian should go. It produces nothing of edifying value, but it can cause significant relational and spiritual damage to others and ourselves. And it is a place easy to visit. All it takes is to be in a situation that fuels a conversation with emotions easily running high. It might be with a difficult child, in a heated marital disagreement, or maybe with a brother or sister in the Lord who is not open to reason or to receive advice. This place? An argument.

A chief reason why arguing occurs among people is the parties involved have “dug in” and built defensive postures around them. They are right in their positions and see neither the need nor the desire to change. Basically, when arguments are raging, the people involved say, “I am right. You are wrong. And I going to keep trying to convince you how wrong you truly are.” And when both parties are in this “battle mode”, the lack of humility ensures no resolution or harmony will occur. Sadly, the Spirit of God is grieved and the testimonies for Christ by arguing Christians are severely tarnished. Remember, the world argues. Christians should not and because of Christ in us, we may avoid being the other party when an argument arises. So, let’s consider a couple of Biblical helps to ensure we are not the first or second person in an argument.

First, be willing to listen more than talk in a conversation that has potential to become an argument. James instructs us to“ Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger”(James 1:19).Many a potential argument may be defused by using our two ears more than our one tongue. There is the wisdom of a warning in James’ words. Think about their opposite application. It is the recipe for a damaging argument-“Let every person be quick to speak, slow to hear, and quick to anger.” Place ourselves in a position to not be open to reason by not listening and we will be in that horrible place of a God-dishonoring argument. And maybe by our listening instead of defending ourselves, a door opens for dialogue instead of establishing a closed door of loveless arguing.

Another thing we may apply in our lives to keep us from going to that place of Christ-dishonoring arguing is to remember what we are commanded not to do–trust our hearts. The prophet Jeremiah informs us the “heart is deceitfully wicked, who can know it?”(Jeremiah 17:9).And Solomon adds a forceful spiritual punch by stating, “He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But he who walks wisely will be delivered”(Proverbs 28:26).Too often, by trusting our hearts, we get in that bad place of arguing. To prevent an undisciplined and unrestrained heart that leads us to undisciplined and unrestrained speech, do two things. First, pray for the Lord to put a guard on our tongues which starts with a guarding of the heart-Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!(Psalm 141:3). Then, ensure the heart is saturated with the Word of God so our speech will be of a grace-filled nature (Colossians3:16).Both are safeguards to keep our speech wholesome and edifying not hurtful and argumentative. So, may the Lord help us not to go there–the place of being a party to sinful arguing.

PRAYER: “Father, forgive me for the times I enter into unprofitable arguments with people.”

QUOTE: “It is never right for a Christian to be defensive and argumentative in a conversation.”